"I'm drunk and it's ALL Lena's fault"...

as i'm sitting here on my couch, reading TFLN, and laughing my butt off (if you're not familiar with it, i suggest you check it out here: http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/...it's hilarious) anyways, i'm reminded of a particularly fun...SCRATCH THAT, an EPIC friday night...one so epic, that it took several people to piece together the evening...
the night started out great...it was one of my best friends erin's graduation from Paul Mitchell hair school. lena and I were so pumped to go see erin graduate because she had worked so hard for this! Only, I ended up working later than i should've, and ended up running a little late to pick up lena. if you know me, you know that i *hate* being late. it's a big pet peeve of mine....so i was rushing to get to her house and it happened to be 500 degrees outside...it's not cute when a girl sweats like a pig :/

i finally make it to lena's house and we jet over to the community center where erin's graduation was being held. luckily, the school was running late and was waiting for several of the graduates to arrive. so lena and i make it to our seats with our group. now, i was ALREADY sweating like a pig and when i managed to get into the auditorium, it felt like there was NO AC. actually, i'm not even sure there was AC. such cruel punishment...at this point, i'm complaining about how hot it was..."it's so hot in here...i SWEAR, i'm having hot flashes". it was not a pretty sight. finally, the graduation ceremony commences! we watch erin cross the stage and receive her diploma and congratulate her after the ceremony. after the ceremony was done, i managed to find a fan to try to cool myself off, with no such luck-SERIOUS HOT FLASHES, PEOPLE!!!! thank you to lena for capturing this on film:

unfortunately, not everyone could make it out afterwards to erin's little celebration at the bars in arlington...but no worries, lena, erin, jason (erin's super sweet boyfriend and designated driver for the night) were able to hold it down and party like rockstars. lena and i thought it would be a great idea to pre-game, so that we wouldn't have to pay for drinks at the bar. my first mistake of the night? that would be that i allowed lena to pour our drinks.she has a heavy hand...but if you ask her, she'll deny it. i managed to get myself cleaned up, put some fresh make up on, (i'm pretty sure i didn't make myself look like mimi from the drew carey show, but not 100% sure on that one) and we were out the door ready to celebrate!

my second mistake of the night? that was meeting up with my bartender friend, paul. as soon as we were at union jacks (which by the way, is a pretty fun bar in ballston, if you're in the area) the drinks started flowing.

my third mistake? that would be suggesting that we start off with some celebratory shots. oy vey. i don't even know how many shots were consumed there, but what i DO know, is that as i age, my tolerance decreases EXPONENTIALLY. this was a sad, depressing, miserable realization for me. after having several drinks and making my way on to the dance floor for a bit, erin suggests that we go to whitlows to meet up with some of her paul mitchell fellow graduates. we pay our tab and we make our way to the garage to get to the car.

at this point, it becomes apparent that i am HAMMERED. however, i was still able to give, and i quote myself  "the best directions EVER"! i managed to get us from union jacks to whitlows...and during the time i was giving directions, i was leaning out the window of jason's SUV screaming "I'M HAVING HOT FLASHES!!!" (of course, i don't remember giving directions OR yelling out the window, but i have jason as a sober witness to this whole evening and he recounted it the next morning.) ugh. now, this is where it all goes downhill for me (the rest of this story was pieced together by other people, so i am safe to assume that what they told me, actually happened). we walked to whitlows after parking the car and we are immediately met by some of erin's friends. erin chats for a bit, and then proceeds to do introductions:

erin: lisa, this is my friend.
melissa: hi, i'm melissa (shakes my hand)
me: hi, i'm hammered.
erin: what?! no, this is lisa.

yes, it was THAT kind of night. we make the rounds and chit chat with some other paul mitchell graduates and finally make it into the bar. i'm pretty sure i only had one drink, but at this point, who knows. erin decides that she wants to move on to another bar, rira's in arlington. so, again, we pay our tabs and move on. i don't remember leaving the bar, but i'm sure we did because as erin and jason make their way into the bar, lena and i decide, we need to sit outside for a little bit and we tell erin that we'll be right in. we sit on a bench outside a PNC bank and start drunk dialing everyone in our contact lists. GOOD GOD is all i can say...because the messages we left for everyone went something like this:

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEENT! YOU SHOULD USE PNC BANK AND USAA FOR ALL YOUR BANKING AND INSURANCE NEEDS!!! they're great!!!! WE LOVE ASHLEY! WE LOVE BRENT!!! BRENT-ASHLEY...BRASHLEY...NO NO NO...WE LOVE BRUNCH!!!!!! so we're gonna call you guys BRUNCHLY!!!!!

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea. and that's just ONE of SEVERAL messages we left. after 45 minutes, erin and jason manage to find us sitting and tell us that we need to go home. jason dropped lena and i off at her house and then we pass out. i wake up the next morning totally hungover. i look at my phone, and realized i had texted someone, "i'm drunk and it's all lena's fault...LOL". (it's always entertaining to read the text messages i send the next morning).
after reading the hilarious texts, my hangover started to kick in...it was MISERABLE. lena and i had promised erin that we would go to a graduation party with her saturday afternoon...and being the trooper that i am, i decided to go instead of dying from an intense hangover...the things i do for my friends ;) anyways, we see one of erin's friends, nataly, and i didn't even remember seeing her the night before:

erin: you remember nataly, don't you?
me: YES! hi, how are you?! (in my best attempt to disguise my hangover)
nataly: good, how are you? you don't look so good...
me: i'm a little hungover from last night. we went to union jacks and whitlows...
nataly: i know. i saw you out. you introduced yourself to me!
me: WHAT?! I SAW YOU LAST NIGHT?! i'm so sorry...i don't remember that :/

after hanging out in the bathroom, puking my brains out, it was time to go home. not a moment too soon either...cause i looked and felt like death. proof of that is below:

i nursed myself back to health just in time for work on monday. i get into the office, and see one of my co-workers/friends, cory. he comes to my cube to ask about my weekend:

cory: so, how was your weekend?
me: it was good. went to one of my best friends graduation and then partied in the ballston/arlington area afterwards. it was fun.
cory: wait a second...were you near whitlows?! and were you screaming out of a black suv of some sort?!!?
me: OMG. maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyybe.

SERIOUSLY?! what are the odds that i get spotted by a coworker...well, since we're talking about my luck, apparently, the odds are PRETTY GOOD...ugh.

EPIC is the only word to describe an evening like this...and even though i was super hungover, AND was spotted by a coworker, i would do it all over again-exactly the same! :) congrats again, erin!